Just for Laughs

Recently whilst having a football discussion with my mate in the pub, I mentioned that I was recording a footie bloopers show called “The World's Worst Misses”.

He then turned to me and said “my ex-wife might be on it as she was a proper cow”...................!!!!

A biker was riding his shadow along a California beach when suddenly the
sky clouded above his head....In a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways,I will
grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to
reach to bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would
take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take
a little more
time, and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand
our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking
when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means
when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make
my woman truly HAPPY."

And the Lord replied......
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge.

FC Blyski Atsiskaitymu wrote:

A biker was riding his shadow along a California beach when suddenly the
sky clouded above his head....In a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways,I will
grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to
reach to bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would
take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take
a little more
time, and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand
our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking
when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means
when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make
my woman truly HAPPY."

And the Lord replied......
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge.

AZ Magma wrote:

FC Blyski Atsiskaitymu wrote:

A biker was riding his shadow along a California beach when suddenly the
sky clouded above his head....In a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways,I will
grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to
reach to bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would
take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take
a little more
time, and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand
our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking
when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means
when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make
my woman truly HAPPY."

And the Lord replied......
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge.

Haha a clean joke that is funny lol

Luis Suarez should be happy with his ban...

After all he doesn't have to put on a Liverpool shirt for 10 games.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

FC Blyski Atsiskaitymu wrote:

Luis Suarez should be happy with his ban...

After all he doesn't have to put on a Liverpool shirt for 10 games.

he really should have got an "ate" match ban !!!!

up

I found my girlfriend dead in the kitchen this morning. I panicked and didn't know what to do.

Then I remembered they serve breakfast at McDonald's.

The Goon Squad wrote:

I found my girlfriend dead in the kitchen this morning. I panicked and didn't know what to do.

Then I remembered they serve breakfast at McDonald's.

Hil-air-ious