Just for Laughs

Johns Army wrote:

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.


(I have funnier ones but they are rude lol)

Not bad mate!

Why do monkeys have big nostrils?

Cos they've got big fingers!

Fc swede wrote:

Whats green and smells of pork

What?

Kermits middle finger

Fc swede wrote:

Kermits middle finger

Oh no

Caption

The Goon Squad wrote:

Caption

That's annoying I can't get the right link on my phone

Listen mate, you won't be hearing from me for a while. The police are investigating me for stealing swimming pool inflatables... I gotta lilo

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principals office. He was told to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his private parts hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, shed come and pick me up from school."

If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him/her that your parents always told you not to talk to strangers